Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I think it's Tuesday.
How are you? Decent? Happy? Well? I don't really care. I try to care...but I don't know who most of you fuckers are...so why should I care about you? Valid questions to be sure.
How's my week going? I'm glad that you asked. Well...it was my Principal's last day yesterday. I'm not sure what that means in real terms. The new Principal starts tomorrow. Somehow my school hasn't fallen apart, even though we have been without a leader for a whole day. It's a Christmas fucking miracle! Last night we had a big buffet meal and speech fest to farewell the big guy. I had to cancel my class with Mrs Park. Now she's cancelled for the rest of the week. It's very sad. I think that she's fallen out of routine...and my cancelling yesterday sent a poor message. I feel like a real cunt.
I've signed up for Korean Lessons via the "Lifelong Education Program
for Foreign Language Assistant Teacher". They're free...and will be every Tuesday and Thursday. This means that I will be bust every single evening. Which is nice. With She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named working until nine every night I haven't been incredibly productive after school hours.
So...I've got no Special Class again this week. The plan was to wait until the new Principal comes and get her input into the whole scheme...but the Vice Principal is worried that we'll look like lazy cunts, so he wants the whole system put in place before the new boss comes (tomorrow). Fat fucking chance! It will be interesting to see what they cobble together between now and tomorrow...and yes...I'm sure that it will be some load of steaming shit...but I'm also sure that I will have to eat it and smile!
So...this week's kind of my last vacation week...just teaching classes during the mornings...no special class...no Mrs Park. It's weird...but kind of nice.
Take care of yourself...I'll call you next Wednesday.
Monday, August 30, 2010
It's Monday. Yeah. I like Monday in a lot of ways. I like Monday at the moment because I have no classes on Monday. That's right. None. Zero. Zilch. O. 0. Oh. So...that makes me happy. I still have to be at school (of course), but with no classes I get time to plan the week ahead. I like that. I like feeling like everything is ready, and all I have to do is teach. I have a shithouse memory though...so I still have to read through the fucking lesson plan a few times before the lesson...otherwise I stutter around like a fuckwit all lesson.
Did you have a nice weekend? Did you? I hope you did. I did. Of course. I always do. I caught up with Mark on Friday night...had a wee bit of scran, a couple of drinks and a blether. He's turned into a birding machine while I've been away...not the addled kind...just the birding kind. I'm as proud as punch.
On Saturday I caught up with Joe and his bird and her junior bird. We were supposed to go to Seoul Land, but the cunting rain ruin all hopes of that. We asked the junior bird if she would rather go to the COEX Aquarium, and she sensible said yes. Good kid! I'm not much of one for fish tanks...but I still enjoyed myself. For me, the Koreans were far more interesting than the fish...watching a Dad who tank, after tank, after tank, made his two sons stand with their back to the action to pose for photos....I doubt that the kids actually got time to see a single fish!! It was nice to meet Joe's Bird...she's quite shy like Lady Voldemort (She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named(a.k.a The Bird))...which I think is pretty normal for someone operating in their second language. Her daughter was a good kid too...she was always laughing and having a good time, and didn't get grumpy or stroppy at all....top marks! We split at COEX because She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wanted to do some shopping.
After a brief bit of shopping...I went off to the Big Bird Stadium in Suwon and saw this...
which looks a lot like a 4-2 victory over the scum! Very fucking enjoyable beating Seoul...but to be 2-0 up...then fuck up so that it's 2-2...but then fight back to do them 4-2....well...it doesn't get much better. Well...I guess if somehow a giant spider had come out onto the pitch and raped each of the Seoul players, and then eaten them...well...that would have been better...but this will do. I was supposed to meet up with BC (I can't say Brian because then you'll all think that I'm talking about assclown Brian who made a name for himself during the World Cup) but a few things went wrong. He was late. Our section got full. They wouldn't sell a guy in a Seoul shirt a ticket into the Suwon end. Which all makes sense. Still...he sent me a couple of texts during the match, and we had a quick beer after. He's a nice chap, and it makes me wish I had gone into Seoul a bit more when the band was together (he was in UR Seoul with John, Kev, and Jim)...I know that I missed a lot of good times *sigh*. Still...I went for a few post match bevvies with a large group of Suwon supporters...local and foreign...and managed to get just drunk enough.
I woke up early on Sunday (for no reason at all really...except that I'm a fucktard) and watched the Geelong v West Coast match. Not a lot to say about that really. I quickly logged into the computer to check my fantasy team, and quickly remembered that I had made a transfer the night before when I was drunk. This is what kills me with the fantasy football...I go out, get bladdered and then update my team at three in the morning. Last season I made about twelve drunk subs one week...it's a really stupid habit. Not a great week for my team...52 points...I was on 53 points on Sunday with two players left to play...but my keeper got -3 points...the stupid fucking cunt. So...I'll have to sub him out I think...because I think Fulham are gonna sign a new keeper which means that Stockdale will go back to being a number two keeper. Still...the windo closes on Wednesday, and there aren't any games this week...so plenty of time to update the team later.
My plan for Sunday was to stay in bed all day and relax, but I received a call from She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and we went shopping in Sinsa. It was nice. I enjoy a quiet Sunday afternoon stroll and coffee in Sinsa. I went and bought two new suits from the tailor I go to there...and a couple of shirts...so I am sorted for work clothes come winter. I know...you were wondering whether I was sorted for work clothes over winter...and now you know. Glad I could help.
I'm going to leave it there today. I've got shit to do (literally I fear)...and you've got shit to do (we all shit)...so let's not keep each other any longer.
My first lesson back with Mrs Park tonight...and a farewell dinner for the Principal....it's all happening.
As me ole mucker The Nugget used to say, Toodles Poodles
Now...before we go...here's todays Meme! Antoine Dodson...please watch the first video...it's a news story...stay with it...at around one minute it gets a little fruity.
Now...this is the kind of follow up video that appeared (this is the song version ofthe video...and yeah...it's brilliant).
Here's a follow up by the news network about Antoine's new found fame...
Friday, August 27, 2010
I went home during my vacation. Home. Melbourne. Australia.
It was alright. It was enjoyable actually. A little strange...but enjoyable.
I managed to get a throat infection and some tummy trouble in the Philippines (probably a combination of odd food and too many flights (5 in a week!)) so my first two or three days in Melbourne were a bit pissy. I don't like being sick. I fucking hate being sick when I am busy...it's even worse when I am on holiday!!!
Still...I did almost everything I wanted to do...I caught up with family...I caught up with friends. I ate my favourite foods...I drank loads of excellent coffee.
Still...I should thank my family and friends who made it such an enjoyable trip...Angry, Hubba, Jo, Jodie, Berndog, Aulsy, Pete, Marian, Gabby, Mads, Zeina, Giv Giv, Vader, Nanny, Ian, Shell, Bec, the kids...and other people I may have forgotten.
Some of you will have noticed that my man J.K didn't crack a mention on the big list. Why the fuck not? I hear you not shout or think or even really give a fuck. Well...I'm glad that you didn't ask or think it. The simple answer...my man Jimi 'J.K' King...is Bird Addled beyond belief. He cancelled on me 3 or 4 times over the 12 days that I was in Melbourne. He generally based his cancellations on wild assumptions 'oh...I emailed you, and when you hadn't replied I decided that meant that you didn't want to do that anymore'...court mandated sentencing, 'I've got my community service on Sunday morning, so I can't meet up on Saturday...but mostly because of Birding..."sorry mate, the Birds housemate is away so I'm gonna stay over there". Bird. Addled. As. Fuck.
It's a sad state of affairs....and it all leads to....(well...not really...but I had someone ask for an explanation of Better Off Dead and this is more interesting than IMDB.
So...if you have a friend who is Bird Addled (or Reverse Bird Addled for you lady Burnfans)...you need to straighten things out as best you can. Here are a few tips.
One - Straight Talk.
A little ride on the old 'straight talk express' (does McCain own that term???) should help set your friend onto the old 'common sense highway.' Your straight talk doesn't have to be cruel or negative...just...ummm...straight! Yeah! Honest.
Two - Booze.
If you get a chance...get your mate drunk. This will give you plenty of time to 'straight talk' (see point one).
Three - Move On.
Accept that your mate is going to ignore you until he has a fight with his bird...and move on. This doesn't mean that you don't still love your mate...you probably do. But it does mean that you can meet other people and still enjoy your life. I usually only hear from J.K when he gets caught drink driving or fighting with his bird...and that's that.
Four - Stand By Your Man.
As Tammy Dubya and The Blues Brothers said...Stand By Your Man. He's a good boy J.K...and worth standing by. Even if he can be a bit of a cunt...it's worth remembering that we all can...even you.
Only four steps then...and they aren't in any order. Your mileage may vary...I guess it depends on how addled your friend is!
How are you? I'm great. No...really...I am. I feel...almost happy. Very fucking tired still...I guess I need a proper sleep in to make up for all of the sleep that I lost on my vacation. Poor fucking me! Boo hoo!
So...today I am going to start yet another of Burnblog 2.0's feature articles. What will it be? Is it, "Things You Can Learn From Boys Before Flowers", "Burndog v Tommo - Fantasy War", K-Snap, K-Crackle, K-Pop", or "A Page From Burndogs' Diary" . Well...it's Burndog v Tommo - Fantasy War. Please allow me to refresh your memory.
Back on the 15th of July, I was a mild mannered English Teacher...sitting in my classroom...doing my job...then...out of nowhere...came a surprise attack.
"Tommo You joined the our comp again? haha.. You were awful in WC fant.. Daz was right about you.. good luck buddy!!!"
I was stunned. Tommo. Of all people. So I wrote back.
"Burndog Tommo...if you're going to dribble on my wall a basic grasp of the English language would be appreciated. What the fuck is "joined the our comp?" I mean...I have retarded Korean kids at my school who understand English better than that.
As for the fantasy football...I don't recall you winning either comp...and if you didn't win...then you didn't do shit. I never claimed to be a gun at "Fantasy Football"...just at real life.
Get your hand off it Tommo...you might be able to type better."
Get your hand off it Tommo...you might be able to type better."
Now...some of my loyal Burnfans (namely Mark) said that I went too far. I over reacted. I pulled a gun on a man with a pea shooter. Maybe I did. maybe I didn't. The fact is...Tommo demanded a war. I don't know why. I do know that my goal in the fantasy football used to be to do better than I did the previous year....well...fuck that. My goal now is to beat Tommo by at least 100 points. So...as a new feature...once per week...I will update my loyal Burnfans on the war.
How is it going at the minute?
Well...we're two weeks into the fantasy football season and here's the table -
|1||The Yayas||B Bishop||65||144|
|2||AB's Boys||Andy B||51||118|
|4||Halfbreed Mongrels||T Matheson||47||107|
|5||Ajax Melbourne||G Right||61||106|
|6||Fields Of Gold||B Fields||43||103|
|6||High As A Kuyt||Burndog||41||103|
|8||Far Kings||M Loughran||61||93|
|9||The Reds||D Sutcliffe||29||88|
|10||You Love Its||S Volkering||57||87|
|13||Tone's Champs||T Gray||38||79|
|15||tits mcgee||k mcconchie||22||53|
Well...my team "High As A Kuyt" is sitting in 6th...16 points clear of "Gatotkaca" down in 10th place. Hef meanwhile is 6 points up on me in 3rd.
Let me be clear on this...I didn't want a war.
Thanks for you support Burnfans.
For those of you playing along at home...here's my team for this week...